HOPE FOR THE HOME: The ABC's of spiritual maturity in marriage Part IV

Maturing in Marriage: We often hear in our Hope for the Home Conferences, “What is the secret of your marriage of over five decades?” We simply call it the “ABC's of Spiritual Maturity in Marriage.” This approach focuses on emphasizing positive qualities over negative ones and keeping our focus on the source of a successful and rewarding marriage – the word of God.

Jerry: 13. Mercy Over Might – “Remember, O Lord, Your tender mercies and Your loving kindnesses, for they are from of old.7 Do not remember the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions; According to Your mercy remember me, For Your goodness’ sake, O Lord.”(Psalm 25:6-7) This same request from King David to God asking for mercy instead of judgment in his private life can certainly be applied to the shared life in marriage. Tender mercy and loving kindness will do more to heal a relationship than judgmental words and harsh actions. Compassion restores while cruelty destroys. It has been said by many, “Might makes right,” but we read in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, “ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Becky: 14. Necessity Over Nonessential - "For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for necessity is laid upon me; yes, woe is me if I do not preach the gospel!” (I Corinthians 9:16) How does this scripture apply to marriage you might ask? First, the word “gospel” means “good news”. The words of marriage should promote kindness and good news which builds up rather than words which tear down. As Mark Twain once said, “Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Second, out of necessity we omit the nonessentials which cultivate destruction and practice and preach those things which nurture growth.

Jerry: 15. Obedience Over Obstinacy - "But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: “We ought to obey God rather than men." (Acts 5:29) Obedience to the word of God concerning marriage will put everything in its proper place and everyone in their proper position. Take the time to carefully read Ephesians 5:22 – 6:4, then obey.

Becky: 16. Power Over Powerlessness - "And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All power has been given to Me in heaven and on earth." (Matthew 28:18) The source of power and the ability to navigate the shifting currents of marriage does not reside with the timid, fearful, and fainthearted, but with those who keep their hands on the pilot wheel, their eyes on the compass and their hearts on the destination. To use a naval analogy, the great ship of marriage has Jesus as the captain, the husband as the chief mate, the wife as the second mate, and the children, if any, as the deckhands. Powerlessness in marriage is a result of ignoring the chain of command and the directions to the port of call. All of these can be found in God's word.

Dr. Jerry Drace and his wife Becky are on American Family Radio weekdays at 4:20 PM (CT) and on Sundays at 5:35 PM (CT). Check out their resources for the family at HopefortheHome.org. Becky’s latest book, “The Bright Side of Blue” and Dr. Drace’s, “44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage” offer biblical principles and timely advice for dealing with the challenges and trials of life. You may order these and other resources by contacting them at: hopeforthehome@juno.com.