HOPE FOR THE HOME: Knowing the difference between fact and feeling

Wife: “How can I get my husband to understand the importance of feelings as well as facts? When we find ourselves in an intense discussion he often says, ‘Just deal with the facts.’ I know men have feelings. Why is it so hard for them to express them?”

Jerry: That is an age-old question which Adam should have addressed while standing next to Eve when she ate of the forbidden fruit. He should have intervened and said, “We should not be talking to this crafty, cunning creature.” Instead, he allowed her feelings to overrule the fact which the Creator had given them. Feelings are particularly important and so are facts. In this case, the price for following feelings over facts cost them paradise. However, choosing a feeling over a fact is not always wrong. For instance, choosing the powerful emotion or feeling of love over revenge is wise, as is choosing courage over desertion. Knowing when to choose an intense feeling over a fact requires discernment and sensitivity.

Becky: Feelings are based on emotions which are ever changing. The soul is the seat of our feelings and emotions. The spirit is the God conscientiousness of man. Many couples exchange their wedding vows based on feelings which are frequently fueled by sexual desires rather than spiritual maturity. They bring their hearts to the altar and leave their heads in the parking lot. Feelings alone will not sustain a marriage when facts overrule emotions. That being said, husbands do indeed need to be sensitive to the feelings which their wives express. It takes both the head and heart to achieve a fruitful marriage. In our Hope for the Home Study Bible, we have included a list of over one hundred positive and negative feelings which all humans experience. Knowing these is helpful in navigating the journey called marriage. You may order a copy of the Hope for the Home Study Bible, by emailing us at the address given below.

Jerry: Love is without question one of the strongest feelings an individual can experience and express; especially in the context of marriage. However, love without commitment is only feelings masquerading as fact. A solid marriage is not based on feelings alone and that is a fact. Proverbs 4:23 is a great verse to help us dwell on the positive rather than the negative feelings of life, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”

Dr. Drace and his wife Becky are on American Family Radio weekdays at 4:20 PM (CT) and on Sundays at 5:35 PM (CT). Check out their resources for the family at HopefortheHome.org. Becky’s latest book, “The Bright Side of Blue” and Dr. Drace’s, “44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage” offer biblical principles and timely advice for dealing with the challenges and trials of life. You may contact them at: hopeforthehome@juno.com.