HOPE FOR THE HOME: Jealousy has positive and negative effects

Husband and Wife: We recently heard a speaker discuss jealousy and its positive and negative effects—not only on marriage, but also on other areas of life. How can jealousy be both good and bad?

Jerry: Most people associate jealousy with suspicion, distrust, envy, and resentment. This unhealthy expression of jealousy often leads to the destruction of its target whether a person or a profession. However, there is also a constructive side to jealousy as well.

First, the negative effect of jealousy is frequently associated with the quote from William Shakespeare when writing Othello, “O! beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.” Those who are overcome by jealousy find it easier to feed that green-eyed monster than to cultivate virtue in their own lives. The green-eyed monster of jealousy certainly destroys and devastates everything it devours. This display of jealousy is a mental and spiritual cancer. It will eventually consume its host. Destructive jealousy is the absence of trust and the presence of envy. C.S. Lewis describes well the result of destructive jealousy, “It creates a hell where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment.” Like Haman in Esther 7:9-10, the jealous individual often erects his own gallows in his zeal to hang others.

Becky: Second, the healthy side of jealousy seeks to guard those we love from outside influences and people whose sole purpose is to corrupt their minds and destroy their character. Husbands be jealous of your wives. Wives be jealous of your husbands. Parents be jealous of your children. The Apostle Paul call this “godly jealously” in II Corinthians 11:2. This type of jealously is based on genuine love and is neither self-centered, nor self-serving. It provides a safeguard, a shield, and a defense in a world filled with those who seek to destroy both marriage and family. -God refers to Himself as, “a jealous God”, Exodus 20:5-6. This is not derived from God’s insecurity, but from His desire for man to experience the abundant life which only His Son, Jesus, will give to those who follow Him.

Parents, we must instruct our children of the need to place God and His will first in all matters. That requires that they see us live before them what we are trying to implant within them.  

Jerry: So, jealousy has two sides - positive and negative. Hopefully this helps answer your question. Thanks for being a faithful reader of The Jackson Post.

Dr. Drace and his wife Becky are on American Family Radio weekdays at 4:20 PM (CT) and on Sundays at 5:35 PM (CT). You can freely subscribe to their podcast at Apple Podcast, Spotify, or directly at HopoefortheHome.org/podcast. Check out their resources for the family at HopefortheHome.org. Becky’s latest book, “The Bright Side of Blue” and Dr. Drace’s, “44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage” offer biblical principles and timely advice for dealing with the challenges and trials of life. You may order these and other resources by contacting them at: hopefor thehome.org, or directly at: jdeainc@juno.com.