HOPE FOR THE HOME: Communicating with children can be difficult in phases

Concerned Mother Asks: “Do you and Becky have any suggestions on how my husband and I can better communicate with our two teenagers? It seems they shut us out when we try to talk with them.”  

Jerry: Do not be discouraged. Remember you and your husband were once teenagers who caused your parents to ask the same question. As children emerge into that period of life known as “the teen years” they become more independent, emotional, confrontational, and impulsive. Every parent of a teenager has asked similar questions beginning with Adam and Eve.

Becky: Even parents who are very close to their teens will find that communicating with them still has its challenges. Keeping communication open is essential as your teens develop their sense of identity as they experience peer pressure, relationships, and friendships.

Jerry and I often share the following suggestions on better ways to communicate with your teens in our Hope for the Home Conferences. Hopefully they will be helpful to you:

1. Listen carefully to your teens; not only their words but their body language.
2. Talk quietly and give them your full attention. Do not pick up your cell phone.
3. Validate their feelings and emotions without being judgmental.
4. Repeat what you hear them saying and ask if that is correct.
5. Affirm your love for them after the conversation has ended.
6. Establish a family time each night where each member of the family expresses one thing they experienced during the day for which they are thankful. This special gathering is not optional. Close in prayer.

Jerry: Children are a gift from God; including teenagers. Parents, before you know it, they will be gone and their rooms will be silent. Their trophies will gather dust, and their voices will be but faint echoes in your mind. Tell them everyday they are loved even when communication seems to have broken down. None of us are perfect parents and our children are not perfect, but we have a Father who is, and our children need to see Him in us. We are reminded in Psalm 127:1, “Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.”    

Jerry and his wife Becky are on American Family Radio weekdays at 4:20 PM (CT) and on Sundays at 5:35 PM (CT). Check out their resources for the family at HopefortheHome.org. Becky’s latest book, “The Bright Side of Blue” and Dr. Drace’s, “44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage” offer biblical principles and timely advice for dealing with the challenges and trials of life. You may order these and other resources by contacting them at: hopeforthehome@juno.com.