HOPE FOR THE HOME: A question of behavior

Mother: My husband and I are the parents of three children, two of whom are in their early teens. We have not experienced any major problems so far, but we are starting to notice changes in their attitudes and in how they respond to our parenting. We would deeply appreciate any suggestions you can share for navigating the teen years.

Jerry: What you are facing is something nearly every parent of a teenager experiences. The teen years bring new challenges, and your concerns are both common and understandable. From Adam and Eve to the latest parents of teenagers the questions are still the same. Let us suggest the following areas of potential concern to be considered. First, there will be emotional and physical changes of which you are probably aware. Physical and emotional transformations can be overwhelming for teens. Their hormonal changes can cause mood swings, irritability, and a host of other emotional changes that may leave you and your husband feeling frustrated and concerned. These adjustments may cause them to become more sensitive, reactive, and withdrawn at times.

Becky: Second, today’s teens are growing up in a culture and world unlike anything their parents—and certainly their grandparents—experienced. Social media has a profound effect on their behavior and mental health. Many teens spend up to nine hours a day on phones and other devices, and excessive use has been linked to increased anxiety and depression. For the health of your home, consider setting screen-free times and spaces, monitoring online activity, and encouraging face-to-face interaction. A meaningful way to end each day is with what we call a “family devotion.” During this time, each family member shares something they were thankful for or something meaningful they experienced that day, a verse of Scripture is read, and someone leads in prayer. You may be surprised by how naturally this routine opens the door to deeper communication. Dr. Pepper Pratt, Christian counselor here in Jackson, underscores the importance of religious education in the home. He states, “When you look at God’s instruction for religious instruction you find that it wasn’t just memorization. The idea given through Moses was that parents would teach their children God’s word in the normal contexts of everyday living. Your behavior is the best teacher of your faith.”  

Jerry: Third, teenagers need boundaries, just as we all do. Establishing clear rules and consequences are an important part of guiding your teens’ behavior. In fact, they will come to appreciate those boundaries because they give them a framework for making wise choices when temptation arises. Once those expectations and consequences are clearly established, it is essential for parents to follow through consistently. When enforcing the rules is necessary it is essential to remain as calm and composed as possible. This can be challenging, especially when tensions are high.

These are just a few suggestions which every parent can use when raising the sails as you leave the harbor of childhood and head out into the uncharted waters of adolescence. Always remember Psalm 127:1, “Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it….”

Jerry and his wife Becky are on American Family Radio weekdays at 4:20 PM (CT) and on Sundays at 5:35 PM (CT). Check out their resources for the family at HopefortheHome.org. Becky’s latest book, “The Bright Side of Blue” and Dr. Drace’s, “44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage” offer biblical principles and timely advice for dealing with the challenges and trials of life. You may order these and other resources by contacting them at: hopeforthehome@juno.com.