OPINION: Congratulations! Don’t try to change the world. Be faithful.

Graduation is one of life’s milestones, and this year our family has experienced not one, but two graduations.  

For over two decades I’ve written columns about raising boys.  With five boys in our family, there has been plenty to write about.  Rather than thinking about what the boys do at home, I have been spending a lot of time these days thinking about them leaving home.  

The nest is emptying.

In many ways, this is what we have been working toward.  The purpose of childhood is to grow into mature and responsible adulthood.  One of my 4,754 passwords includes the phrase “Boystomen”—not a reference to the 90’s Boys Band, but a nod to what our role as parents has been for the last two decades—raising boys to be men.

This spring, my oldest son graduated from college and my middle son graduated from high school.  Augustine School, (pre-K-12) has a Senior Farewell service during the week of graduation.  In addition to graduate recognitions, the entire school, passes by the Seniors to shake hands, hug necks, and say thank you for their influence on campus.  The most poignant image for me was seeing each of the Seniors down on one knee hugging the Kindergartners as they passed by.  Proud parents were watching on, and yes, there were tears.

Both graduation weekends were fun and eventful.  Friends came over for special dinners.  Family drove in for the ceremonies and a special lunch.  Lots of pictures were taken.

Now I’ve sat through way too many graduation exercises—over 60—but this year, the commencement speaker I heard at my son’s graduation service was different.  It was not your typical “You’ve-graduated-You’re-gifted-You’re-prepared-You’re-awesome-Now,-go-change-the-world” drivel that one typically hears at graduation.

The commencement speaker challenged graduates to live lives of ordinary faithfulness.  Armed with one biblical verse, I Timothy 6:6, he based his talk on the fact that “Godliness with contentment is great gain.”  Calling graduates to be “stubbornly ordinary,” he said “The gospel does not call you to change the world.  It calls us to be faithful in the world.  And those are not necessarily the same thing.”

In my opinion, one of the greatest lines in his speech was “You cannot change the culture, but you can change the culture of your dinner table.”  He told graduates to pursue marriage, have children if God provides them, commit to a local church, live in community, know your neighbors by name, and be buried in a cemetery with your life-long friends.

He called graduates to live the good life.  The good life is a life where loves are ordered, responsibilities are accepted, and faithfulness is paramount.  It refuses to pursue popularity and wealth.  It values honesty and excellence, and pursues the good, the true and the beautiful.  It lives by the Latin phrase, “ordo amoris”—submitting to the realization that we have a duty to prioritize our love and affections with God being first, followed by family, community, countrymen, and finally, all of humanity.

It certainly was not the normal “go-out-and-change-the-world” message which one quickly forgets.  Instead, this was a counter-cultural message for graduates, calling them to be “faithful, not famous.”  

My boys can’t change the world, but they can and should be faithful wherever they find themselves.  That’s what our world needs—faithful men, not famous men.  That’s what Amy and I want for them.  

Success is not found in the pursuit of fame or riches, but in the pursuit of faithfulness.

Todd E. Brady serves as Staff Chaplain and Advanced Funeral Planner at Arrington Funeral Directors.  He and his wife, Amy have five sons.  You may write to him at tbrady@afgemail.net.