HOPE FOR THE HOME: The ABC's of spiritual maturity in marriage Part III

Special Valentine’s Edition for February: As shared in the previous edition of The Jackson Post, we are dedicating this Valentine month to the question which we often hear in our Hope for the Home Conferences, “What is the secret of your marriage of over five decades?” We simply call it the “ABC's of Spiritual Maturity in Marriage.” This approach focuses on emphasizing positive qualities over negative ones.

Jerry: 9. Involvement Over Indifference -  "for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; 36 I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me." (Matthew 25:35-36) One of the most rewarding ways to consistently strengthen a marriage is to invest as a couple in the lives of others. You can do this in a variety of ways, including making financial contributions to Christian ministries beyond your usual church support, volunteering with parachurch organizations that help people in need, and aiding individuals who find themselves alone due to unforeseen events. Concern for others is commendable, and even more so when it is expressed through sharing. Mother Teresa once said, "Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you."

Becky: 10. Joy Over Judgment - “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full." (John 15:11) You have heard it said, “Happiness depends on circumstances. Joy endures despite circumstances.” It is often easier to be judgmental of your spouse than it is to be joyful with your spouse. You married an imperfect person who also married an imperfect person. If you think you married Mr. Perfect or Miss Perfect, it is time to face reality—wake up and smell the coffee. True perfection exists solely in Jesus.

Jerry: 11. Kindness Over Unkindness - "What is desired in a man is kindness," (Proverbs 19:22a) Kindness is one of the nine segments of the fruit of the Spirit. This should teach us that as we express kindness toward our spouse it both fortifies our personal relationship to Christ and deepens our commitment to the love of our life. It also makes a lasting impact on our children.

Becky: 12. Love Over Loathing - "This is My commandment that you love one another." (John 15:12) In my counseling with wives I frequently hear, “I just don’t love him anymore.” These words are spoken when emotions overrule promises. We live in a narcissistic culture where feelings replace faithfulness, and personal preferences cancel wedding vows. True love does not evaporate as dew on the morning grass. It remains through the difficulties and tough times. The boundary between loving and loathing remains intact as long as we maintain our values, standards, and integrity.

Jerry and his wife Becky are on American Family Radio weekdays at 4:20 PM (CT) and on Sundays at 5:35 PM (CT). Check out their resources for the family at HopefortheHome.org. Becky’s latest book, “The Bright Side of Blue” and Dr. Drace’s, “44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage” offer biblical principles and timely advice for dealing with the challenges and trials of life. You may order these and other resources by contacting them at: hopeforthehome@juno.com.