HOPE FOR THE HOME: Dealing with grief – Part III

Readers: This is the third article in our series on Dealing with Grief and its impact on everyone who experiences it. From those who “Walk through the valley of the shadow of death”, to those who sit down in the valley and never finish the walk, grief leaves an indelible imprint on the mind, soul, body. If you have recently faced a crisis that has led you into the valley of grief, or if you are beyond the first shock of loss, this brief series is written to offer encouragement and support for the road ahead—a road most of us will travel at some point on this journey called life.    

Jerry: As I shared in our article last week, grief comes from several sources: the death of a family member, close friend, or pet; divorce; marital separation; the ending of a friendship; imprisonment; personal injury, or illness; job loss; retirement; financial challenges; a change in the health of a family member or loved one; a child leaving home; the loss of personal health or physical independence; the absence of closure after a traumatic event; and the disappointment of not achieving long-held goals or dreams. To navigate the towering, tumultuous waves of grief, four things are essential: (1) Time is necessary to do its healing work—spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Although time moves at the same steady pace for everyone, each person responds to grief differently once the hourglass has emptied from the top bulb into the bottom bulb. (2) Tears are necessary for the body to cleanse itself of bottled-up emotions. Listen to what Job said about the grief which he was experiencing. Job 16:16, “My face is flushed from weeping, and deep darkness is on my eyelids…” In Psalm 31:9, David pleaded with God and said, “Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; My eye is wasted away from grief, my soul and my body also.” We are told in Luke 19:4, that when Jesus approached Jerusalem for the last time “He saw the city and wept over it…” Tears are not reserved for only the female gender. Men will also heal with the shedding of tears whether in private, or with loved ones. (3) Talking is to the mind what tears are to the emotions. Putting our feelings into words helps us bring to the surface the deep currents of anger, guilt, pain, and sorrow. This calms the waves and restores peace to our troubled souls.

Becky: (4) Prayer is the fourth essential. Only through bringing our broken hearts to the Father can true healing take place. And only those who have confessed God’s Son, Jesus, as their Lord and Savior have that awesome privilege of coming to the Father through the power of prayer anytime anywhere. As it tells us in Psalm 18:6, “In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears.” In the words of Jesus we read, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28-30.

Let me suggest that in your grief you find a place of solitude and serenity. Solitude is not synonymous with sorrow. One of the best ways of coping with grief is during those quite moments when the noise of the world fades away and the still small voice of God speaks to you through His word and prayer. Jesus often sought places of solitude, “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16. At night when the shadows lengthen and the darkness closes in remember Psalm 4:8, “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” And follow that up with Psalm 62:1, “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.” 

Jerry and his wife Becky are on American Family Radio weekdays at 4:20 PM (CT) and on Sundays at 5:35 PM (CT). You can subscribe to their podcast at Apple Podcast, Spotify, or directly at HopoefortheHome.org/podcast. Check out their resources for the family at HopefortheHome.org. Becky’s latest book, “The Bright Side of Blue” and Dr. Drace’s, “44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage” offer biblical principles and timely advice for dealing with the challenges and trials of life. You may order these and other resources by contacting them at: hopeforthehome@juno.com.