HOPE FOR THE HOME: Dealing with grief is not a reflection of one’s faith

Wife: “I recently lost my husband after 52 years of marriage. He was an outstanding Christian companion, my best friend, and the finest father our children could have had. Now that he is gone, I am overcome with grief. As a follower of Christ, is it normal to feel this way? Does it mean my faith is weak?”

Jerry: The depth of your grief is in no way a reflection of your faith. Jesus wept at the death of His friend Lazarus. He experienced grief on numerous occasions; overlooking Jerusalem and the unbelief of those who rejected him as the Messiah, in the Garden of Gethsemane facing His impending crucifixion and as He hung on the cross, when He cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). Your faith is based on your commitment to Jesus as Lord and Savior and not on your feelings. During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, I conducted 14 funerals in 14 days, and each family grieved in its own deeply personal way. It is not only normal to grieve, but also necessary. King David expressed it so well when he said, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and staff they protect me…”                    

Becky: Through our Hope for the Home Conferences across the nation, we have met many people walking through the valley David described. It is essential to keep walking. The stages of grief must be faced honestly and worked through with care. I suggest you consider one of the GriefShare programs offered in several churches in Jackson. Our home church, Calvary Baptist Church, has an exceptional program led by Debbie Childress. Our friend, Bob Arrington, owner of Arrington Funeral Directors, has counseled thousands of family members through the years and to quote Bob, “The road of grief is bumpy and somewhat unpredictable. There is no blueprint as to how and when you will feel certain emotions. However, there is one common thread which runs through grief and that is patience. It takes time to heal. You never really “get over it’ you learn to live with it.” This is excellent advice.

Jerry: It is comforting and reassuring to know that in the midst of grief and sorrow the promise of Jesus to Martha is as dependable today as when it was first spoken, “Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me, though he die, yet will he live. Whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?’” (John 11:25-26). He asked His disciples if they believed what He said and we are asked the same question today. If we believe His words, however painful and heart-rending the walk, He will never leave us or forsake us.

Jerry and his wife Becky are on American Family Radio weekdays at 4:20 PM (CT) and on Sundays at 5:35 PM (CT). You can subscribe to their podcast at Apple Podcast, Spotify, or directly at HopoefortheHome.org/podcast. Check out their resources for the family at HopefortheHome.org. Becky’s latest book, “The Bright Side of Blue” and Dr. Drace’s, “44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage” offer biblical principles and timely advice for dealing with the challenges and trials of life. You may order these and other resources by contacting them at: hopeforthehome@juno.com.