HOPE FOR THE HOME: Couples have develop plans when faced with choices

Engaged Couple: We are engaged and preparing for marriage soon. As our wedding day draws closer, we are beginning to see the numerous decisions before us, both the choices we must make now and the ones we will need to face in the years ahead. It is a bit overwhelming. What advice do you two have when it comes to making the right choices?

Jerry: My first response is to say, “Stop and take a deep breath.” Each day brings its own unique challenges and choices. You are wise to recognize that marriage involves a continual series of choices. I often share this formula with people, whether they are single or married: “You are free to choose. You are not free not to choose. You are not free to choose the consequences of your choices.” Strong marriages are established one wise choice at a time. So how do you make wise choices? From the Christian perspective they are founded on an unwavering faith based on the eternal teachings of the Scriptures. As you find in Proverbs 3:6, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” This verse has been a compass in the Drace family since our engagement days.

Becky: As Jerry said, choices always have consequences. When those choices lead to positive outcomes, they strengthen both marriage and family. That is why important decisions should not be made in haste, but with patience, prayer, and thoughtful consideration. As newlyweds you will face numerous first-time choices, as you have acknowledged. Where do we live? What do we purchase for our new residence? Hopefully, which church do we attend? How can two live as cheaply as one? (Answer: You cannot.) Who will manage the finances? Which in-laws do we visit on major holidays? One helpful approach is to plan ahead, communicate with both families, and begin establishing traditions of your own. For example, you might spend one major holiday with parents and reserve another for your new family. This gives you room to honor your families while also building the life and traditions that will shape your marriage.

Jerry: A word of time-tested wisdom about decision-making: not every choice will be the right one. However, when we are willing to learn from our mistakes, even wrong choices can become opportunities for growth in both life and marriage. Working as a team and respecting each other’s views and opinions is essential. It means learning to think, pray, and decide together. Marriage does not mean leaving your heads at the altar once the vows have been exchanged and the passions of the heart have suddenly taken over. Marriage is not two halves becoming one. It is two wholes merging into a complex oneness. This is the great mystery of marriage.

Hopefully, this little bit of counsel has been helpful. Stay in the Word and the Word will stay in you and your upcoming marriage.

Jerry and his wife Becky are on American Family Radio weekdays at 4:20 PM (CT) and on Sundays at 5:35 PM (CT). Check out their resources for the family at HopefortheHome.org. Becky’s latest book, “The Bright Side of Blue” and Dr. Drace’s, “44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage” offer biblical principles and timely advice for dealing with the challenges and trials of life. You may order these and other resources by contacting them at: hopeforthehome@juno.com.