FAITH: We need more men like Tim Merwin

Tim Merwin died Saturday.  The influence he had on so many during his life on earth was profound and will continue to make a difference in the lives of those he invested in.  

I am one of those people.

Of course, the impact on his family goes without saying.  He and Dale were married 55 years—a tremendous testimony of the marriage covenant which so many today flippantly disregard.  He loved and had the kind of impact a father should have on his children.  He was a pillar of stability and strength for his five grandsons.  Indeed, his wisdom, steadiness, responsibility, conviction, care, and godliness are traits that sadly are often lacking in today’s society.

This past February, Tim was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer—the same diagnosis his father received 23 years ago.  After getting the news, Tim lived five months.

In what might have seemed a selfish act, I texted him upon finding out and asked him if I could take him to breakfast.  My purpose was to tell him “Thank you” for his profound influence in my life.  When I was a teenager, Tim worked with the youth at our church.  Not only did he work with youth, but he also taught Sunday School for a bunch of toe-headed boys like me.  Every Sunday morning, we would go and sit in his class as Tim taught us the Bible and shared practical everyday wisdom.  We knew Tim was the real deal.  At the time, though I didn’t realize the good teaching and wise mentorship I was getting.  Now, with a family of my own, I understand what Tim was saying:  Men should be men.  Men should do what is right.  Men should take responsibility.  When men love God and their family, everything else falls into place.

Tim and I arrived at the restaurant that morning at the same time.  He got out of his red car and was wearing his red hat.  He carried a pillow in, telling me that he had to have it because sitting was difficult for him.  Sixty pounds lighter than the last time I saw him, we got our food and made our way over to the table.  Over eggs, bacon, and a sausage and biscuit, the words seemed like just words, but I was able to tell him “Thank you.” 

Again, like those days back in the 80s, the conversation turned to men taking responsibility, and he told me that men should take care of their responsibilities.  That was the kind of guy Tim was.

I can’t count the number of times he rolled his eyes at us teenagers back then.  Tim knew that kids would be kids, and we knew that he would always shoot straight with us.  And I mean always.  You never had to wonder where Tim stood, and that was a good thing.  That was the kind of guy Tim was.

He refereed high school basketball, and whenever he was refereeing our high school team, my friends and I would sit in the stands and yell at him all night long.  When JCM played our cross-town rival, North Side, he officiated.  When that happened, we gave him all kinds of grief.  We screamed and yelled and blew our duck calls all night long.  He would often smile, but he never looked at us.  We’d apologize at Sunday School as we ate doughnuts and drank Coke.  He’d laugh, and then we’d do it all over again next Friday night.  He took it all in stride.  He loved God, and we knew he loved us.  That was the kind of guy Tim was.

We talked of many things at breakfast.  He told me that every day was a gift, and that since his diagnosis, when he opened the curtains every morning, the glory of God outside was so much brighter.

He said that he was praying that God would give him two more weeks to live.  The reason he wanted to live two more weeks was so that he could complete his ministry at a local apartment complex through his church.  Always pouring his life into others.  That was the kind of guy Tim was.

Thank God for Tim Merwin.  We need more men like him.

Dr. Todd E. Brady serves families at Arrington Funeral Directors.  He is also Chairman of the Board of Trustees at Augustine School.  He and his wife, Amy, have five sons and are members of Cornerstone Community Church.  You may write to him at tbrady@afgemail.net.